


Innocent or Not

by pulchramors



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Broken Bones, Gen, Human Experimentation, Hurt No Comfort, I don't like ocs in fanfiction but they are crucial for the first arc, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Sedation, Vomiting, Whump, medical whump, sorry y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23858506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulchramors/pseuds/pulchramors
Summary: 𝘈𝘬𝘦𝘤𝘩𝘪 𝘎𝘰𝘳𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘰'𝘴 𝘗𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵. 𝘞𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘢 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘢𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘹 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨. 𝘈𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘬𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘚𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘸𝘢𝘺.𝙎𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮?-The title is a placeholder because I suck at naming things. Please send suggestions ( ;ω;)-I always thought persona had some good whump potential and I like Akechi so... Tags update along with the story, ask me for future tags if you need so!-Always open to suggestions! If you'd like to see something, leave a comment and I'll try to get to it if it fits. But I already have the basics of the story planned and written, so I hope you won't mind if I won't integrate yours.
Comments: 25
Kudos: 40





	1. Death Doesn't Feel like a Hungover

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Hope you like this (,,꒪꒫꒪,,)
> 
> English isn't my first language, so sorry for any mistakes! As I said, I'm always open to suggestions so feel free to leave a comment with pretty much anything! Improvements, fixing my grammar/spelling mistakes, ideas for the next chapters! 
> 
> Especially for the title. Help me ｜−・;）
> 
> Fanfic isn't my strong suit, I always feel like my understanding of the characters doesn't really align with how most people view them. That doesn't bother me personally, everyone can interpret stuff however they like. Fandom is a cruel, cruel place -not really, but usually, the assholes are the most vocal- so I've always had my qualms for posting fanfic. Especially since the persona series got such a boost in popularity in the last few years.
> 
> (I used to have some uploaded fanfics but the creator of the certain media I was writing about turned out to be a major fucking creep, so I abandoned this account and I orphaned them because of how disgusted I was) 
> 
> However, the persona series is my favourite video game series ever. I've spent so many hours grinding in Tartarus or running around the small town of Inaba. I even spend my time spreading rumors in Sumaru. Sadly I couldn't manage to port the first game of the series, but I've watched some playthroughs.  
> Similarly, I loved exploring the stylized Palaces and chaotic streets in persona 5. So I hope you appreciate the passion I put into this -even if it is -let's face it- torture porn. (not actual porn, if it spawns some explicit sexual content it will be posted separately). 
> 
> Also, I am not a doctor -or have any medical training, other than some basic first aid CPR from high school - so all that stuff will be inaccurate. Some will be written off to 'Persona Magic', but if something is ridiculously unrealistic, don't hesitate to tell me! I'll try to fix it! Or keep it in mind for future reference! 
> 
> Anyway, on to the actual story! Thanks for taking the time to read this! ー( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

_'What a fucking show-off.'_ Akechi thought, but couldn't help but smile as Akira let go, _doing a fucking flip for god's shake,_ but that's just how the guy was. The rest of the Phantom Thieves shouted as Morgana - he wasn't still entirely convinced that the whole turning into a helicopter thing wasn't a weird hallucination after hitting his head particularly hard - turned around. The palace was collapsing around them, but even then Akira held on to Maruki, not letting him fall. 

It was loud and cramped and stuffy and people's knees were hitting his already sore back, but he felt his chest tighten nether the less. As far as last moments went, this wasn't so bad after all. It certainly beat bleeding out at the cold metal floor, staring back at the dead, lifeless eyes of the cognitive version of yourself.

His eyes wandered on the _-fake-_ world Maruki had created. It was collapsing, along with his Palace, large pieces of glass raining down and reflecting the night lights, parts of it, melting into black and red mist. It was rather beautiful. Plus, he felt if he tried to focus on anything else, he would lose his composure. The last few hours almost made him want to live, even if it was a lie. _Almost_. But the Phantom Thieves had that effect on him. He took a sharp breath, deciding not to think about it too much. At least he could die with some of his dignity left. Then everything started to fade and melt in that weird way the universe does and he closed his eyes.

* * *

Akechi had a headache.

He felt dizzy and vaguely nauseous and there was this so damn annoying sound, muted and distant. He tried to open his eyes, closing them immediately with a heavy groan.

He always believed death would feel more like nothing, not like having a fucking headache. Not like waking up after one of Shido's weird business parties, where the adults found it amusing to watch him try to down glass after glass of alcohol, trying not to throw up and ignore the ringing around his head. He hated how it made him feel, words slurring, clouded thoughts, and movements _\- he always made sure to overplay it. Didn't want to actually get too drunk and let something he might regret slip -_ but he guesses it would be amusing. Shido's ruthless, calculated hitman, stumbling over his words and blushing like a child. Well, he was a child, for most of those. 

It didn't matter. 

He tried opening his eyes, closing them immediately with a groan, when they met with way too bright fluorescent light. _Well_. This sucked. Who designed whatever place in the afterlife was that? Fluorescent lights? Really? As if dying didn't suck enough already -   
  


**_Wait. He wasn't fucking dead._ **

  
He slowly pushed himself up, slowly adjusting to the bright light, putting a hand over his eyes. He tried speaking, but his voice just let out a hoarse croak. _Gods,_ it felt like someone shoved fucking sandpaper down his throat. He somewhat sat up, back hitting against something soft. He pressed his fingers over his eyelids trying to think. This didn't make any sense. He died. He should be dead as reality shifted back into place. He was sure he didn't survive Shido's palace. He remembers bleeding out, everything fading into black and cold. _So cold._ He had tried to blindly press the nav, but he wasn't even sure he made it, phone slipping from his bloody fingers. He didn't want to give even the cognitive version of that piece of shit seeing his corpse.   
_Would he even care enough to go see for himself? Or was he insignificant enough his absence would go unnoticed, another pesky report he would push on someone else, complaining about paperwork?_

"Fucking bullshit." He mumbled, trying once more to look around, eyes adjusting after a few painful blinks. First of all, there was needle jammed up in his arm, leading up to an IV bag and it took almost every inch of willpower not to rip it out. He wasn't that stupid - pulling it out would just make him bleed and the bag was almost empty of whatever clear liquid was in it originally, so there was no point in it. So a hospital? It didn't look that much like it, no, the room was small and windowless, with padded walls and tiled flooring. Two doors, one of them -probably the exit- didn't seem to have a way to open from the inside. He was laying on a hospital bed though, some jolting confirming that it was bolted down to the floor. There was also some sort of bar bolted to one of the walls, haphazardly childproofed with a thick layer of foam and what looked like tape. Two cameras, on opposite ends of the room, making any blind spots -if any- too small to actually take advantage of. The room was empty otherwise, with pristine white surfaces making the lights even more obnoxious. The slight buzzing coming from them did not help either.

Where the fuck was he? A mental hospital? Did he somehow stumble of the metaverse alive and Shido's remaining allies threw him in there so he wouldn't speak about their involvement and foil their pathetic plans? Whatever was left of them anyway, after Shido's downfall. It wouldn't be hard. If he really stumbled bleeding and delirious out of the metaverse, talking about demons and palaces and _his father_ , it wouldn't be hard to chalk him up as crazy. 

Akechi, clenched his fists, digging his nails in his palms.

It felt. _Unsatisfying_. Shido was rotting in some cell, feeling like shit _-like he should-_ and he never even saw any of it. He had briefly thought about trying to see him in Maruki's fake reality. If he couldn't kill him, he should at least make him know just the extend of what he did to him. What he did to **_her_**. He thought if he would beg for forgiveness if he would have asked him to kill him. He'd probably would, after the change of heart. But then he was just a sad old man, in a fake world, and _what was even the point of that?_

 _ **His head hurt too much to process this shit.** _Fuck. He just felt angry and hollow. He had come to terms with dying. He was ready, he was **_fine_** with it! And now what?

His hand lingered over the needle in his arm for a second, before pulling it with a hiss and jumping out of the bed, making all but a few steps before the spraying blood made him ever more nauseous, stumbling towards the nearest wall for support. Great. The bag was hung from the tall metal frame of the bed, so he pulled the steel, dull hook of it, clenching it tightly in his hand, using the other to support himself. He would have preferred those polls they usually hung them to use as a weapon, but it would have to do for now. He didn't really expect to be able to fight his way out, no, they seemed to have planned this way too carefully for him to just run out, but at least he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of just _sitting there_ and _taking_ whatever they had in store for him. Whatever their plan was, he'd make it _hell._

It actually didn't even take that long for the door to open with a mechanical sound. Akechi didn't think about it, he tried to bolt out, ignoring the fact that the world spun around him, shoving whoever came in without even stopping to look at them.

Big mistake. His arm was swiftly grabbed and twisted behind his back and the other raised and pressed painfully around the wrist until he was forced to drop the hook with a pained yelp. It felt embarrassing how quickly he was stopped, basically manhandled, with his struggling having no visible effect as he was dragged back in the room. It was once of those fucking bodyguards that looked like clones of each other - Tall, muscular, shaved head and an earpiece. At least that one didn't wear sunglasses or a suit, because that would be such a _fucking cliche,_ and Akechi's life felt already like a huge joke, so he wasn't sure he would take it.   
  
"Let me go, _you piece of-_ "

"I thought we were over this Akechi." A voice stopped his cursing, making him snap his head back to the door. A pale man with a lab coat, having a somewhat unamused expression, holding a notepad entered with another guard in tow. At least this one had black hair, making him somewhat different than the first one, albeit it was in a short buzzcut. Akechi felt a little smug. Apparently, he was enough trouble to make them use two people to apprehend what was basically a teenager. 

"And what the fuck do you exactly mean by that?" The doctor pressed down the bridge of his nose. 

"The shock factor with the whole swearing thing has gotten way too old kid." He sighed and Akechi thrashed furiously. 

"I'm not a fucking kid! I have no idea what you're talking about, but if you think I'm just going to sit here and take whatever bullshit-" He stopped, staying still, as he felt a warning kick in his back. He glared at the doctor. "You're clearly mistaken." He just let out a soft hum in response, looking at his notebook. 

"So, it appears you have some memory loss." He scribbled something. "Not an expected side effect, but we'll work around it." He tapped his pen twice, thinking. "I'm not expecting you to start cooperating all of sudden then?" He laughed.   
  
_Side effect?_ His mind was spinning. What had he gotten himself into? _"In your dreams."_ he spat out instead.

The doctor exchanged a nod with the other guard who came in with him. 

"Well then, I guess we'll be needing these again, won't we?" Akechi frowned as the guard's grip around his arms tightened. 

"What are you-" His eyes widened as the other walked towards him, taking out a pair of padded handcuffs. For a second he freezes, taking a sharp breath. " _No!_ No fucking-" he shoved back with all his weight, stumbling, trembling with adrenaline, managing to loosen the grip a little bit, but not before the other one grabbed him as well. He tried kicking, shoving blindly against the hands holding him, _shit,_ he had to get free and get free _NOW_.

"You little shit-" One of them mumbled with a grunt as one of his kicks connected with something, but the doctor cut him off with a stern voice. 

"Just get him unto the bed." he says, taking a few steps back and leaning against the wall, continuing to write something down. Akechi wanted to shove that notebook down his throat.   
  
"No, get off! Get off me you trash, fucking - " He's frantic as they manage to wrestle him on it, trying to pin him down, but that leaves his hands relatively free, so he throws a punch making his knuckles hurt, but hitting one of them square in the nose, making him stumble back holding it, blood dripping. The other took the opportunity to use this opening to cuff his other hand to the bed. It makes him freeze in panic and before he realizes, he chokes on his next scream as his chest gets pinned down with one hand, the other holding his head down. He tries to bite, use his free hand to shove him off, but soon he feels it get cuffed as well. The guards back down - from the smudged blood running down his face, he had apparently hit the bald one - and he's panting, pulling against the cuffs, wrists straining against the -thankfully- soft material.   
  
"Fucking brat." The baldie grunted, grabbing a fist full of his hair, pulling his head up. Akechi braced himself for the hit that was about to come, trying not to wince from the pain in his scalp. 

"That's enough." The doctor said, stepping closer and the guard let begrudgingly go of him with a harsh shove that sends his head spinning, before stepping back. "Do I really need to have you constantly restrained?" He said sternly, standing above his head. "The first time you woke up you tried to murder someone with the IV pole, the second with a chair, the third you just stood until they were close enough for you to try to ram their head into the bar-" Akechi chuckled at that. So that explained the emptiness of the room. He could feel the cold glares of the guards. The doctor stayed silent for a moment before cupping Akechi's face, forcing him to look at him. " _Do you think this is funny Akechi_?"  
Akechi felt a chill down his spine. He knew that tone. It was one he had heard over and over in his life, harsh and unyielding and practically begging him to give them a reason to make his life a living hell.   
  
"No, sir." he answered on instinct and mentally cursed himself for it. The doctor just smiled, sickly sweet, letting go and making Akechi want to spit in his face. Even more than before.  
  
" _Good_." He took out his notebook again. "Now, do you feel like talking _or_ do I have to force-feed you pills until something works for-" he checks his notes with a hum "-the 8th time this month alone?"

Akechi thought about it. Shido had a team researching the cognitive world and personas. He was never allowed to know their names -and he didn't even get to meet the majority of them. He did answer some questions - trying to be as vague as possible without raising suspicion. He has even given some blood samples over the years. But he guessed he was too important to actually experiment on him directly. Now with Shido out of the way... He was expendable, he realized. He clenched his fists. So that was going to be his punishment for murdering all these people? Living like a lab rat until he grew crazy, until they got enough out of him, until he begged for death? Wouldn't just dying be enough?   
  
"I asked you a question." A voice snapped him back to reality. He took a deep breath. _Fine_. He wanted the fucking truth? He would tell him.   
  
"I thought I died. Then I got trapped in an alternative version of reality where a fucking school counselor with a messiah complex wanted to brainwash everyone into thinking they were living their dreams or some bullshit, so I made a deal with the leader of the Phantom Thieves in a fucking laundromat to take him down, because fuck that, I'd rather be dead, the rest of the Phantom Thieves also realized this was bullshit, oh along with a gymnast with a sister complex or some other shit. So we beat the fucker, but turns out I'm not dead, some sick fuck is using me as a lab rat for whatever fucking reason." The doctor chuckled.   
  
"That's _certainly_ a new one. 'Sick fuck' isn't really the most creative insult though. Maybe work on that?" He hummed, putting the pen and notebook back in his lab coat.   
"Honestly, you're lucky I don't really have permission to cut you up _yet_. My employers seem to think it's better to work without strapping you down on a medical table and getting results _whether you want to cooperate or not_." He turned away to leave, but paused half-way through the door, turning his head with a hum. "Oh, don't think we can't have some fun experiments like this though." He smiled. "And patience runs out, eventually. I just hope you realize what's best for you."   
  
Whatever Akechi shouted at him as he left went completely ignored, door closing with a mechanical thump and leaving him alone in a way too bright room with only a thinly veiled threat hanging over his throat.


	2. Ribs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: This came out a little later than I wanted because when I tried to put this into AO3 and make some final edits, my neighbor was on his balcony singing cheesy love songs. It felt bad to do this while the poor guy was pouring his heart out with a guitar. ( ;°-°) (It would be a cute fluffy ship fic. Though the "we're neighbors and I'm flirting with a guitar from my balcony/window is pretty overdone, is still lovely isn't it?)
> 
> Oh, just a heads up, there is some throwing up in this chapter, but I don't think is descriptive/graphic enough for a tag? Anyway, if you think it needs one let me know after reading, let me know. I like to have things properly tagged so people can avoid any TW or/and squick. There are also descriptions of pain, self-hate and hints of Akechi's terrible childhood (tm)

Akechi mentally screamed at himself, biting his lip as not to actually scream, pulling at the cuffs. They didn't budge and were just short enough to keep him mostly laying down, staring at the white ceiling above him.

 _Shit_. _Stupid_. He was so _fucking **stupid**_. People were right about him - he couldn't do _anything_ right. Not even **_die_** , apparently.

He gave one last pull before letting himself fall back completely with a wince. His head felt like splitting in two and his stomach churned uncomfortably. This was... _Not ideal_. He closed his eyes, trying to make his brain cooperate _for once_ in his life. There couldn't be no escape - he just had to wait for it.

 _Or just find a way to kill himself before_ -

 **No**. Don't think about that right now.

If they were really researching this power and managed to get...Whatever it was they wanted out of him, the world was fucked. It was already fucked enough without magical weaponized demons that could kill someone without leaving any actual evidence, twist their brains and hearts. He wasn't naive enough to believe it would fall into the hands of someone with good intentions. Especially if it was from the same people that worked with _Shido_.

He- He never even thought about taking precautions in case Shido thought he was more useful as a test subject to further the research on the cognitive world and personas. How _stupid_. He didn't even know their names, or how many they were. It wasn't supposed to be much of it anyway - but, he wouldn't trust him with that information now would he? No, that research would just give him another way to get rid of Akechi, of course he wouldn't know about it. And to think he was naive enough to believe that Shido _trusted him._  
He had done some basic, surface-level digging, but he never thought this would be a possibility, so he didn't care enough to dig further. And now that Shido and his political games were gone, he was - 

_Oh._

_Gone_.

He opened his eyes, looking unfocused towards the ceiling. The metaverse should be gone according to what Akira had told him. He was powerless. Even if he managed to escape, he couldn't do a damn thing anymore. There was no Loki or Robin Hood or even Hereward to _destroy_ them. It was over. 

He snorted bitterly, choking down a sob, the realization that for the first time in years he was _utterly **helpless**_. _Without his persona, he was just another brat who had no power over anything in his life. He was just going to be trapped in here until they decide he isn't worth the hassle and get rid of him. At least it wouldn't take that long, judging from past experiences, until they decide he's completely useless-_

Akechi took a deep breath, then another, trying to empty his brain. There were cameras. They were watching him. There was absolutely no good reason to throw a tantrum like a fucking child. It wasn't that bad. _Yet_. He just had to wait for a chance to escape. They would do something wrong sooner or later and he would just have to wait until they lowered their guard. Play along, collect info, make a plan, and don't just _sit there feeling sorry for your fucking self.  
_ There was no outside help. Anyone who mattered thought he was long dead now. 

_Inhale. Exhale_. Right. Everything felt too out of place to think. He briefly wondered if it was from whatever they had given or it was just a side effect of falling in another reality. Well, there was no way to know for certain. He closed his eyes again, hoping to doze off. 

* * *

It didn't take that long -or at least didn't feel like it- until he woke up, breath caught in his throat, coughing. Everything _hurt._ It felt like his insides itched and burned and every breath sending pain, _so much pain_ everywhere that he instinctively thrashed and jerked, making it even _worse._ The only thing actually keeping him from curling up and clutching his sides, crying out were _those fucking cuffs_. He took a few breaths, slow and deep, biting his lips until he tasted blood, until it dulled enough to think again. He panted, quick breaths sending a dull ache to his chest. _What the hell was that?_ It felt like something was reaching, twisting his guts from the inside, nausea clawing at the back of his throat. He didn't have much time to think about it, the door opening again. 

A woman entered this time, very obviously also a guard, mumbling something he couldn't quite get to her earpiece. She was carrying a tray with food and was a blatant attempt to make him lower his guard. He wasn't that much of an idiot. But he could use it to his advantage. She seemed a bit surprised to see him awake and she left the tray on the ground, pulling a key from her pocket, danging between her fingers as she approached. 

"Hey kid, you're awake." She hovered over him. "I'm going to untie you, so you can eat and stuff. No one really wants to deal with having you restrained to a fucking bed the whole time, so _behave_ and I won't have to put those back on when you finish." As much as he hated to admit it, she was right.

"For the last time, I'm not a fucking kid." He mumbled instead, but nodded in agreement. The woman laughed.

"Sure you ain't." she hummed as she unlocked the restrains. "Hey, who knows, if you keep behaving, you may even get a chair or something to do in here. It must be fucking uncomfortable." Akechi rubbed his wrists, biting the inside of his cheek. Sure. _Holding him hostage and doing God knows what on him wasn't a concern, but no, being a little bored in his off-hours is_. Fucking bullshit.

"Yes, I've been informed I tried to beat someone to death with it?" He said instead, maybe a bit too coldly to not seem like a cheap attempt to gather info, but hey, small steps. It was a start, at least. She just handed him the tray and leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. 

"Pretty much. Poor Y- _oh right, no names_ \- needed stitches. " Akechi felt a little proud, even if he couldn't remember it. He ignored the food, a new wave of nausea rising up. _Focus_. He stared at the plastic spoon. 

"Let me guess, I also tried to stab someone with a chopstick? Or perhaps a fork?" The woman chuckled. Great. She likes morbid humor. "I could certainly try with a plastic one, as well."

"I'd love to see you try. I can and I _will_ kick your ass if I need to kid." Akechi bit his lip again, ignoring a new have of pain in his guts. 

"Fuck-" Deep breath. "I'm _not_ a kid." She just waved him off dismissively. 

"Just eat your fucking food. I have better things to do." Akechi didn't move, putting the tray aside. Even looking at it made him want to throw up honestly, but he was more concerned whether it was- "It's not drugged." She continued with a sigh. "We've had that conversation before, you really don't remember shit?" 

"I...No, I don't" She let out a thoughtful hum in response.

"Just eat it." Just the _idea_ made him swallow bile rising up his throat.

"I don't think I-"

"It's probably whatever Doctor gave you this morning, it'll wear off." It was starting to get on his nerves.

"I-I can't-" She scoffed.

"Don't care. It's not my job." 

"So what? You're just going to s- _shit_ -stand there like I'm a fucking child?" He snapped at her.

"Yes, if you continue to act like one." She said it so calmly it made his blood boil. 

"Can't you just leave me alone?" He shouted, fists clenched, grabbing at the edge of his shirt. He could now feel his bangs sticking to his forehead and he felt so much like shit, he probably looked the part as well. _Fuck_ getting information, he just wanted to be alone to curl up and wait until it was done or he dropped dead, whichever came first. 

"Sure, if you want to get restrained again. Probably get you a feeding tube too if you continue to refuse to eat." She just uncrossed her hands and looked at him. ' _What a fucking bitch_ ,' he thought, taking a sharp breath. The idea of trying to stab her with the spoon suddenly looked way more appealing. He could maybe manage to get her eye. _Or maybe both if he was really_ -

 ** _No_**.

It was pointless to do anything right now. He felt like he wouldn't even manage to stand right, let alone take on even one person. 

" _Fine_." He let out, barely a whisper, but filled with as much hate and coldness he could muster. She just leaned back against the wall, ignoring him. 

He did manage to swallow a few bites, before his stomach turned so violently, he barely had time to hunch over the side and vomit over the floor.

* * *

A quick sketch of the Doctor™. He hasn't slept properly since the '90s. He kinda deserves it. I made him a smoker because even though I smoke -I feel like it's pretty much a requirement for being an edgy drama student-, I sometimes find the smell of tobacco on people nauseating. Wash your hands and eat some gum after you smoke if you can! (;¬_¬) Anyway, the aesthetics of smoking can make some pretty good menacing imagery, don't you think? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna include drawings along with the story, mostly because I really don't like describing characters in detail for no reason, it can set the mood in a really nice way, make tension rise, etc but I don't understand how people write nonchalant character descriptions without sounding forced. It's a gift I do NOT have (一-一;;）.So I thought this would be a good way of indirectly going about it, so you guys have some idea about what the characters look other than like, 1-2 basic features. Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Still haven't found a name I like for the title of the fic. I'm not so particular about chapter titles though...Fun fact, this one is named Ribs, because I love the song (by Crane Wives, though Lorde's is great as well), the placement of the bullet wound (just bellow the ribcage, so lucky -or unlucky, seeing how this is going- to not have pierced a lung) and I thought about adding some fractured ribs after the fight in the previous chapter, but I thought it would be a bit much. Plus, they take a little less than two months to heal and that's a large time gap it could be filled better, I think. Goro is still weak from the bullet wound (and some mild experiments) and you need a healthy subject for what I have in mind... There's plenty of time broken ribs later on!
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoy the story! (or not. Sometimes people read things to make them feel bad)  
> Any suggestions are welcome as always! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡


	3. Ugly Organs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came a bit early but it's short. Again medical inaccuracies. I'm not smart enough to be a doctor lmao.
> 
> I also think I somehow messed up the chapter notes. The notes from the first chapter also appear in the second?? I don't even know how I did that, hahaha but I believe I fixed it. （ー△ー；）
> 
> In this chapter, there is description of throwing up (I will be adding the tag), slightly choking on vomit, and painkillers (pain medication?). A bad time in general (TM) Probably a good idea to add the tag for implied child abuse as well since there is a mention in this chapter (and in later ones most likely). Should I tag an abuse tag for the current time in story as well? I feel like it's a given, with the other tags.

Akechi was _vaguely_ aware of being grabbed by the arm and pulled in some direction, but everything spun around him too much to question it. He clasped a hand over his mouth, weakly trying to pull back, stumbling as he was forced up. He logically knows he _can_ breathe, but it doesn't feel like it, coughing and gasping, taking quick, sharp breaths as he tried not to heave again. Plus the pain in his guts made it hard to think anything.

A particularly sharp tug against her hold and the woman let him go, saying something he couldn't process, not even realizing how much of his weight she was actually supporting, as he fell to his knees, using one hand to steady himself on the floor, the other still clasped over his mouth as liquid dripped from between his fingers. Vomit was bad enough as a concept, but the smell was almost enough to make him gag again and it's not as bad as before, but it burned his throat, making him choke and almost fall down completely. Again and again, until only clear liquid came up.

Then it was over and he went back to _breathing finally_ again, face dripping with bile. He took deep breaths, scrambling back and leaning against the nearest wall. He resisting trying to wipe his face with his hands, knowing there was vomit on them as well. He could feel the wetness in his eyes and closed them, turning his head up in a quick motion that almost made him gag again. He wasn't about to cry over some vomit, for fuck's sake- 

"If you _somehow_ managed to rupture a fucking stitch again, I _swear to fucking_ -" Akechi opened his eyes, closing them immediately with a groan. _Great_. That fucking doctor was here. He reeked of tobacco and he felt a little better knowing he probably cut his smoke break short. He opens his mouth to tell him to fuck off, but his stomach had other plans, making him lurch forward and vomiting once more. He heard the doctor sigh. "At least there isn't any blood, which means we can probably rule internal bleeding out..." He mumbled, crutching next to him. Akechi just glared at him, trying to suppress a whimper as another wave of throbbing pain hit him. He instinctively raised his hand in front of his face, nails digging into his scalp and palm pressing down on his eye. It _**hurt, searing and throbbing and he couldn't do anything, it was too much-**_

"Hey" A snap of fingers brought him back to reality. "Focus." The doctor said in an infuriatingly indifferent tone. "Lift your shirt." Akechi almost spat at him.

" _What_?"

"I need to check your stitches and you need a distraction." Akechi blinked slowly, trying to process it. The doctor huffed. "Are you going to make this difficult? Or are you gonna save us _both_ the trouble and **_behave_**?" 

_"Fuck you._ " He answered weakly but did so anyway. The doctor just rolled his eyes, unamused. 

Akechi hissed as the adhesive bandage was pulled in one swift, quick movement. He couldn't help but let out a small gasping sound. There was a large, albeit healing scar over his stomach and side, along with patches of burned skin around most of it, leaving angry red marks. He felt his hands trembling, so he clutched the fabric tighter, trying to steady them. He tried to breathe slowly, as the doctor examined it.

"You know, you're a curious one, really" The doctor mumbled. "This-" Akechi's breath hitched as he hovered his hand over the wound, eyes widening. "-should have healed a lot faster. Maybe not as fast as normal, considering you act like some _feral dog,_ but I wonder, is it because of that cognitive world?" 

" _D-Don't-_ " Akechi's voice sounded _too_ panicked for his liking, _broken almost_ , making him mentally curse himself. The doctor gave him a small smirk, before pulling his hand back. Akechi realized he had frozen in place and quickly pulled his shirt back, hands trembling with rage. That _fucking_ \- 

"Well, this seems to be a response to pain, most likely. " He hummed, gesturing something to the guard behind him, who nodded and walked off _-shit Akechi haven't even noticed her standing there all this time._ "This is why you don't pull out IVs when you're recovering. Especially when we're trying to get you off painkillers." 

"Oh, _I'm sorry_ , is it fucking with your test results, _doctor?_ " His voice dripped with poison, expression twisted with pain.

" _Exactly._ Come on, you're going to be part of something _so much bigger than yourself!_ Don't you want to know how your power works? _How far you can push it_?" He gestured, an excited look lightening up his face with _pure glee_. Akechi wanted to punch him, but he didn't think he could deal with moving a muscle, let alone going through the effort of all that. 

"I don't want to have any part in your fucking mad experiments." He replied, fists clenched. The doctor dropped his smile to a more neutral, yet still amused expression. 

"Didn't really expect you to. It doesn't matter _what_ you want anyway." He got up, rummaging through his pockets. 

"I'm not afraid of you." Akechi glared at him, still on the ground, talking more to himself than anything, but _he_ didn't have to know that. The doctor laughed as the guard came back, holding a plastic cup. 

"Oh, I don't need you to fear me either." He responded, taking a pill bottle out of his white coat, counting out two white pills. Akechi slowly away against the wall. 

"N-No, I'm not taking any _fucking_ drugs from _you_ -" The doctor sighed, taking the cup out of the guard's hands. 

"Hold him down." He said coldly. She looked a little reluctant. 

"Sir, I don't think this is nesse-" The doctor cut her off with a click of the tongue. 

"I said, _hold him down._ " Akechi screamed eternally for himself to move, _get away, now,_ all logic thrown out the window - if there was one in this fucking room anyway - but he only managed to get somewhat up, leaning heavily against the wall and stumble a few steps back. Getting up just made everything spin again. It didn't take a lot for him to be grabbed and just trying to thrash away made him _scream_ in pain again. The second he saw the doctor bringing his hand closer to his face, he shut his mouth, taking heavy breaths through his nose.

"Open your mouth." Akechi narrowed his eyes, turning his head to his side. 

"Akechi, open your mouth. _I'm not going to ask you again._ " Akechi thought about his options for a moment, before twisting and **_biting-_**

The doctor hissed, yanking his hand away and dropping the pills. Akechi smirked, blood dripping down his mouth and from the doctor's hand. He had broken the latex glove and the skin behind it. The doctor let out a dry laugh. 

" _You really are Shido's dog aren't you?_ " He snorted, holding his palm. At the sound of that, Akechi thrashed manically, pain be damned, trying to lunge at him with a growl. The doctor laughed. "Fine. If you want to act like an animal so much, maybe I'll treat you like one." He motioned the guard to let him go and she shoved him to the ground, making him cry in pain. "You can get painkillers again when you act like a good boy." He laughed again, before turning away. Akechi tried to get up, but he just felt his knees giving out beneath him, as everything faded to black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The third chapter, wow, I'm just happy you're still here! !(•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑
> 
> You wouldn't imagine how long it took me to find the term "adhesive bandages" in English. 
> 
> I wanted to include this with the previous chapter, but it was a bit too long, so I just split them in two. This is a little short, but I had 9 hours of zoom lectures today and god, I know we're technically an art school, but oof, you guys, my classmates are so stupid. I don't mean academically I mean in the "oh we had like 15 days to get free books but I did try to get the ones from the previous semester so now it's invalid"  
> "why don't our teachers just upload illegal pdfs wtf???" (which they do, just under wraps)  
> "oh yeah, sure, I'll send the email tomorrow! :)" (she never did. It's been a month. help me.)  
> All of that shit kinda way.
> 
> I'm just going to play new horizons for the next 20 hours to forget this ever happened. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> At least my shuffle decided to be almost exclusively ABBA songs as I was editing this, which was kinda funny. There's nothing better than being in that writing zone and getting snapped out by the iconic "gimme gimme gimme a MAN AFTER MIDNIGHT". Which makes me curious, do you guys have any favourite playlists? I usually just leave everything on shuffle as background noise, but I also like putting on podcasts when cleaning or doing similar stuff. Definitely not when writing though, I'm bad enough already as it is hahaha!


	4. Comatose seems smarter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late because I didn't have much time to write but wanted to update. Sorry for the delay, I'm tied up with school. We (technically) finished up a project this weekend but there's still one to go and someone in that group has to make a plan for deadlines and do the work and oh god I'm the worst at being a "team leader" but at least now we at least fucking have one, I wonder how the fuck did my team manage to make it through this far in uni without knowing how to make a fucking PowerPoint. Wish us luck, because we desperately need it.
> 
> Honestly, I'm just fully prepared to redo this whole semester. （ノT＿T)ノ ＾┻━┻
> 
> Also, will I ever stop adding random lyrics as chapter titles? Nope. I could just do Chapter 1,2 etc, but where's the fun in that? I miss chapter titles, even if they are bad and don't fit lol.  
> Should I add a tag about suicidal thoughts? I mean, it's not so much suicidal as it is "I fucking died, found out I didn't twice, just give me a fucking break" 
> 
> Ok, warnings for this chapter: There is more medical inaccuracy and a bad time in general (tm) but nothing, in particular, comes to mind. Let me know if you believe a tag needs to be added!

Sleep was never easy. He was used to sleeping for two maybe three hours a day before he jolt himself awake, soaked in sweat, taking deep breaths and staring at the ceiling before standing under the shower until the hot water ran out. No matter what he did, he ended up catching small naps -10 minutes in-between classes, in front of Sae's desk as he waited for her to return from the director's office - and then crashing hard for over ten hours when he was too tired to dream anymore. 

So as much as everything in his body screamed at him to lay the fuck down, he just got up and dragged himself to the other door, which was as he had thought, a small bathroom, slid the thick plastic shower door open and sat down under the hot water trying to get the drying vomit out of his hair. Gross.

At least there didn't _seem_ to be any cameras in there. 

He vaguely heard the door open and close again at some point, but he was too preoccupied with mentally cursing at the life choices that lead him there to care. Even waking up in Maruki's reality wasn't as shocking as this - at least in _that_ reality he had woken up in his apartment, feeling wrong, everything falling into place as he heard his old TV broadcasting some third rate news station that was talking about the whole fiasco with Shido. Even more so as he arrived at the subway station, realizing the meta nav was gone and seeing fucking Akira with Sae. 

_"If they get their hands on the perpetrator, there'll be no need for him to turn himself in, no?"_ He had said, voice perfectly controlled. At least _that_ had made Akira lose that blank look he had most of the time on his face. It was game over. He was alive, for some reason. Shido's heart was changed. _"To think I'd get to see you so surprised...Honestly, it's pretty satisfying."_ Akira didn't believe him, but well - The least he could do in exchange for them keeping their promise -not that they weren't going to do it anyway, but he made them promise with what was **_supposed_** _to be his dying breath_ _goddamit_ \- was to not let their precious leader get thrown in jail.

He had briefly looked back as he had walked away with Sae. Akira was still staring at them, slowly disappearing into the crowd, a hand tugging on his messy bangs. He couldn't see his expression of course from that far away, but he wasn't entirely sure he had wanted to either. 

* * *

A loud knock on the door snapped him back to reality. 

"Are you dead in there?" A gruff voice asked and Akechi groaned. 

_"Fuck off"_ he tried shouting back, but it just came out as a weird, hoarse sound. _Great_.

"OK, then are you dying?" Akechi rolled his eyes. He fucking _wished_.

"Can't I have some fucking privacy?" 

"Look, we're not getting paid nearly enough to play babysitter with a little psycho, so don't make doc ask for cameras in the fucking bathroom." The voice tapped against the door. "So don't be a fucking brat and hide in there for hours." Akechi turned off the water. At least that confirmed there weren't cameras in there. "You have ten minutes to get your ass out, or I'm coming back to drag you out." Tch. Bastard. Akechi bit his tongue. Akechi gripped his hair. It was almost dry in some places. Okay, maybe he was in there for a long time. At least he didn't hurt as much anymore and there were clean clothes and a towel on the floor outside the shower. 

* * *

It was one of the rare times Akechi actually woke up not feeling as tired as before. He didn't even notice when he had fallen asleep _-yesterday? Great, the constant cold light was already messing with his sense of time. Passing out didn't help either, now that he thought about it and he couldn't count on anything to tell how much time had passed-_ but at least the pain was bearable _\- barely, but it would do._

He was already feeling restless. He tried pacing around the room, but his stitches burned after a few minutes, so he sat down, back against the wall, tapping his fingers to the floor. He had to come up with an actual plan and ignore his little breakdown from before. The cameras watched him constantly and he had no doubt that piece of shit doctor would use anything as an excuse to be an ass. He wondered if they were also hidden microphones, a hand resting on his chin. There was a chance. He'd be better off not talking to himself anyway, regardless of whether they heard him or not. So, assume they did. 

He was rational enough not to let Shido know about the details of entering the metaverse. He _hoped_ he was rational enough to not spill anything about it to those fuckers either. He didn't think he would give any details that easily. Yes, yesterday - _or however time passed_ \- was a moment - _okay maybe a few more moments_ \- of weakness, but never mind that, even if the app was gone for good, getting his hands on a phone was his best bet out of there. 

_Wait_. 

Did...Did Futaba have his phone still bugged? There was a chance they had kept it...Not that he could get his hands on it, _but if it was still tracked then maybe_ -

No. Even if they did notice - The Phantom Thieves were done. They were just teenagers now. Plus they had bigger problems to worry about - without his "confession" Akira would have taken Sae's deal to testify as the leader of the Phantom Thieves. With his criminal record, there was no way he wasn't in juvie. And if anyone cared at all he was probably declared dead already _-that's how he would do it anyway, less messy than a missing person and death certificates weren't hard to forge, with the right connections, or the right price, especially if the victim had no immediate fami-_

_Focus_. He took a deep breath. He let himself overthink things yesterday - _god it annoyed him so much he didn't know the exact time frame_ \- and it lead to nothing. His only real chance of getting remotely near escaping was playing along. As much as he would rather pull those damn stitches along with half his intestines out than do that. He let his head hung down and pulled up his knees, taking slow controlled breaths.

At least he's always been a good actor. 

* * *

The door opened eventually and the doctor walked in along with the guard from before. He had a patch over his nose, which was slightly bruised, and Akechi _almost_ couldn't contain his smile, as he stumbled up, legs slightly numb from sitting down for so long. _Almost_. Thankfully he really was a good actor. 

"Do we need the cuffs again?" The doctor asked mockingly. Akechi narrowed his eyes. He thought over how he should answer. If he started playing along too soon it wouldn't be believable enough, but he was starting to feel like he would actually kill for those painkillers. Well, not that he wouldn't kill everyone in this room for less but - _"I asked you a question_." Piece of shit. 

"...No." He replied instead, voice purposefully icy, but just a little too quiet, just enough to sound like this was getting to him. Which _it clearly was_ , but there was no need to address that, especially right now. Nevertheless, the doctor gave a satisfied hum in response. 

"Well, playing along is good enough for me." He shrugged. Akechi had to practically force himself to stay still, the silence that followed the next moments chocking him. What did he even come here for?

"Come on, I can practically see the gears in your head turning." He snickered "You would expect better from a ' _detective' " Ah._ He came to insult him. As if he didn't already have enough reasons to imagine Loki tearing his face off, the man gave him more reasons to do so. _Great_. "Oh, come on, you really thought that being Shido's dog made you special?" 

" _Shut up._ " _That fucker_ \- He dug his nails on the inside of his palms, hands almost trembling with anger. He just _had_ to bring up that asshole, didn't he? "Did you just come here to insult me?" 

"Insult you? Really? Calling you a murderer doesn't even make you flinch but you get offended by _this?_ " 

"If you're just going to talk shit, just leave alone." Akechi sighed, pressing his hand to his face. It took everything out of him to not try and choke the man and he could almost feel Loki's voice screaming at him to rip him to shreds.

The doctor smiled. " I am a doctor and we _do_ need you in one piece. I'm just here to do my job." He shrugged. "Besides - _It's not really an insult if it's true now, is it?_ " Akechi laughed. _"What's so funny?"_

_"Oh,_ I know your game." He said, pressing his nails against his hairline, slightly tugging his bangs. "You're just trying to make me attack you to make good on your little threat from before." Well, at least that wiped that annoying smile off his face. He pressed harder, until he felt warm blood running in his fingers and it _hurt_ but for a split second he felt like he was in control of everything. He let his hand fall down, a smirk forming as he glared at the doctor. "You can go ahead." He spat out. " _But I've heard worse."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a text post on tumblr by user exaltioras that said: "after a thorough medical assessment, the doctors have described me as ‘a lot. just like a lot to deal with’ " and honestly, what a mood.
> 
> It haunted me for days - how do you guys call that weird plastic door/room thing that is the shower? You know when it's just a shower and not a tub combo? How do I describe it without sounding like an alien? Is that actually a thing that exists or have I just been in mostly weird showers in my life?   
> I started to try to remember all the showers and bathrooms I've been and I came to the realization that I am, in fact, a hoe. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you're enjoying the story -or not and you're here to feel bad, which, actually, fair- (⌒▽⌒)☆
> 
> Oh, disclaimer - this is (fan)fiction. It's just a way to explore dark concepts, I don't actually condone anything remotely close to this. I feel like this is a given, but it is still important to point out once in a while nevertheless.


	5. Bitter Honey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update! I typed out half the chapter but I kept delaying this even though it was like 90% done for the last week because I was writing something later in the story and my brain absolutely refused to get that I have to write this part first haha. Plus, I got busy with some spring cleaning -about time- my closet is a MESS. 
> 
> I feel like my grammar has gotten somehow worse in this chapter? Haha, I guess that's what I get for keeping my wips in notebooks all around my apartment and trying piecing it together when I have the time. I should really get more organized.（~～~）Also, you know how fluorescent lights make that goddamn awful low sound? You can't really hear it if it isn't quiet but it's so annoying. I described it as a "humming sound" and now I keep seeing ads for lamps and lightbulbs. After making google think I'm horny for bathroom renovations from searching showers for the previous chapter, I think I'm going to switch to another browser and stop worrying about how English works. Honestly, I just did that in the previous chapter because 1) I don't like the idea of a camera in bathrooms, and 2) I need a place without surveillance for something later in the story. :3c
> 
> I'm so happy for all the positive reactions I've gotten so far here -and in the other story I've started posting, feel free to check it out, though it is very different from this one-!!! (*≧▽≦) Thank you so much! It almost makes me wanna find my old p3 and p2 fanfics. Never really wrote anything for p4 now that I think about it. I was too into Naruto back when I played that game I think all my cringy writing went in there lol. I actually did dig up an older p3/p5 crossover (from 2017, woah) which was originally a one-shot but it has some really good long time whump potential and roughly 6000 words later, another plot bunny was born lol. 
> 
> Are the warnings too spoiler-y? I wanna make sure people reading know what's coming so they can avoid stuff, so I make it detailed, but I hope it doesn't ruin it for those who want to go in reading a chapter without knowing any details. 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter!: Drugging (drugged food), threatening, sedation (not to the point of passing out, hopefully not too medically inaccurate), violent thoughts, almost throwing up, broken bones, avoiding to eat(? Again for the lack of a way to say it with one word, deliberately avoiding eating (though it's short) which I think it's important to add, but it's because our pleasant boy is stuck in a lab and doesn't trust the food so I can't really think of any tags or stuff that convey that?)
> 
> I feel like the "bastard doctor", "oh my god what sick fuck is paying you to do this?" and the "definitely medical malpractice, jc, where did you even get your degree?" goes with every chapter, so I'm not adding those hahaha.

Keeping track of time was a challenge. Akechi tried keeping count of the hours passing, but it felt impossible. The only thing that seemed to make the hours differ from one another was the hot pain bubbling and itching in his side. It was manageable - _if he didn't move quickly. Or at all._ \- somewhat subdued, most of the time, but just as he was getting used to it, it just came back like a wave, making him clutch his side, panting and want to rip out the stitches. He has had some stitches before that - he knew if he didn't rip them out himself they'd take them out eventually and judging from the situation they would try to make it as painful as possible. But, also judging from what the doctor said -and the weird way the scar was healing- he had probably tried that at least a few times, so he decided to let them be for now at least. Though he doubted the healing had anything to do with if he was trying to pull them out or not - stitches weren't supposed to take months to heal. It probably had something to do with him being shot in the metaverse, probably his cognition viewing it as a deadly wound making it more severe than it actually was. He could almost laugh at that. _Almost_.  
  
The most infuriating thing though was falling asleep, waking up sweating, not knowing if he slept for minutes or hours. It was completely disorienting, waking up like that, to the point he avoided the bed, hoping sitting on the floor made it less likely for him to drift off. It wasn't like there was any natural light to help him keep track - that cold, harsh fluorescent lamp was unchanging, leaving a very light humming sound that was just so fucking loud in the quiet room, getting on his nerves. It didn't seem to be a pattern to any people coming in either and asking about it didn't give him an answer. So yeah. Keeping track of time didn't seem possible, let alone doing it accurately. It probably couldn't have been more than two days though, he thought, hoping his mind didn't start screwing up already.

_Probably_.

Akechi sunk down, back against the wall. Staring at the ceiling got unbearable fast, but there wasn't much he could do. The pain was actually worse with nothing to distract him, but he had forced himself to get up twice and search everything in the room in the last _\- hours maybe? who the fuck actually knows?-_ and he couldn't bring himself to do it a third time. The room wasn't that big and trying to pace around just made him feel claustrophobic after a while. His head was still spinning, making it difficult to focus. He couldn't find anything useful the previous times anyway, so what good would it do? Of course there wouldn't be something he could use. When did life ever give him an easy way out?

He resisted the urge to fold his knees to his chest and bury his head in between. He wasn't exactly sure he wouldn't do it if it weren't for the cameras, but he chose to believe he would try to maintain _some_ dignity nevertheless. Instead, he let out a sigh and pressed the back of his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

The fact that the padding seemed to be made out of hard foam, seemingly for soundproofing, like those recording rooms he had been in sometimes for radio shows made his stomach twist. 

_Ah.Shit._

He shouldn't have thought about his stomach. He had been avoiding eating, sure that the food was drugged in some way and his stomach growled, protesting his choices. _Loudly_.  
Realistically, he knew he had to eat at one point, but claiming he was going to throw up again was working well enough as a way to avoid it. Well, he knew it wouldn't last very long as an excuse, but it did for now, and his refusal seemed to annoy that fucking doctor and if anything, he would keep at it _as much as he physically could just out of pure fucking spite_. 

* * *

"You're being a real pain you know that?" Akechi didn't even register the door opening. He took a small breath and opened his eyes. He was getting so sick of that fucking doctor. The fact that there was one of those fucking guards with him -that word feels so _tacky_ but without names or discernable personalities, he didn't really know how else to think them as. Handlers? That actually sounded _worse_ -, looking _bored_ of all things just made him angry.

"Thank you. I know." He gave a practiced smile, voice dripping with venom. The doctor just rolled his eyes and Akechi let out a tired sigh. He _really_ wasn't in the mood for any of this. "What do you want?" He mumbled, slowly getting up. Possibly a bad choice, judging how everything seemed to spin a little, darkness bordering the edge of his vision. _Shit_. He really couldn't keep this up for long.

"Why aren't you eating?" Akechi scoffed.

"So you can drug me? _I'd rather starve._ " Not really, but he didn't need to know that.

"So you're just being fucking stupid." He pushed his glasses up and Akechi thought about breaking them and shoving the broken lenses in his eyes. "Do you know how much effort it would be to put drugs in food without it being glaringly obvious? And why would I even go through that effort when I can have you help down and force-fed or injected with whatever I want? You need to realize - if I want you drugged, you will be."  
Akechi glared at him instead of answering. That was somewhat disturbing but...Wasn't actually a bad point. Fuck. The doctor chuckled. "What? No snarky comeback this time?" 

"What do you want?" He asked again. Just get this over with. He was too tired to play games.

"I'm going to give you a choice. You can either eat this -" He shook a little a small thermos Akechi didn't even notice it before and he cursed himself inwardly. ' _Focus_. _For once in your fucking life stop getting lost in pointless thought.'_ "-which is drugged. It's going to be painfully obvious it is. You're going to eat the whole thing and maybe then you'll finally stop being a little shit." Just the thought of eating made his stomach growl again and he instinctively put his hand over it, clutching the fabric of his shirt. "Or..." The deliberate pause didn't go unnoticed. Akechi rolled his eyes. _Fine_.

"... _Or what?_ " The doctor grinned.

"Or you're getting nothing until you beg for it, even if it's drugged, poisoned, rotten..." Akechi felt his breath quicken. "Maybe then I'll reconsider. Modern medicine is amazing you know. You can be kept alive, though I doubt it'll be very pleasant. Especially for you." Shit. _Shit_. He doubted he was lying. The fact that he had to "choose" made it worse - both were terrible, - _not equally, it was obvious which was the worst alternative_ \- but making him choose was just cruel.

_"You're a real piece of shit."_ Fuck. He didn't really mean for that to slip out. 

"Well, if you insist on doing this the hard way-"

"Wait!" Considering the situation, he was just glad he kept his voice semi-composed. He had to pick his battles and that was one he couldn't win. He had to compromise. He took a deep breath. "Wh-What's in-" _Fuck_. It was hard to concentrate and he felt his heart beat so fast against his chest, almost as if it was going to explode any minute now. 

"What did I drug it with?" Akechi nodded. The doctor hummed a smile creeping back on his face. "Well...Who knows..." That fucking grin made Akechi want to rip his throat out and watch him choke on his own fucking blood. At the same time, it made him freeze in place. He had to go into this blindly. It could be anything in there. _Anything_. The man was a sadistic bastard. Most likely it would just make _everything worse, so much worse_ , but he couldn't just go with it, could he? "Alright, calm down" the doctor laughed. "It's just sedatives. Not strong enough to completely knock you out, but, well, I guess we'll have to see, won't we?"

He hadn't even noticed he had starting to back down, heart beating loudly in his ears. He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Sedatives. It could be worse. Probably. Did it really matter at this point? - even if it was poison, it would actually be better than the alternative.

He took the thermos. It wasn't even half-way full and it didn't look or smell weird at least - seemed to be some kind of semi-clear broth. That would be hard to try and throw up afterward even if he actually tried. Fuck it. He took a deep breath and brought the hard plastic to his mouth. 

It took a moment for the taste to actually register, but when it did it did, it hit him all at once. He quickly clasped his mouth with his free hand, trying not to spit it out, the bitter taste making him gag. He swallowed quickly, coughing after. 

"See? Told you, if something is drugged, you'll _know_ it is." Akechi shot him another glare, panting after the coughing fit. "Now, Akechi, I believe our deal was for the whole thing. Go ahead or the deal's off." 

He was suddenly glad there wasn't that much in there.

He took a deep breath and brought the plastic to his mouth again. It almost felt like drowning. He kept drinking through the involuntary clenching in his throat, feeling it almost burn, even if it wasn't even lukewarm anymore, not letting himself take a breath before it was done - chugging it maybe wasn't the best way to do this but there was no way he was going to do it otherwise. It didn't actually take that long to finish -though it didn't feel like it- and when it was finally empty, Akechi shuddered, coughing until he was breathless and dizzy and for a second he felt like he would die choking on his spit, only managing to take small breaths through the coughing fit. 

"Oh, you actually finished it. That's kind of impressing." The doctor chuckled and the guard laughed along.

"Yeah, thought he was just going to be a little shit again and-" 

Akechi didn't even realize he had thrown the thermos until it barely missed its target, hitting the wall and then clattering on the floor behind the guard. Ah. Well, he had always been a bit impulsive, though he used to be better at controlling it. Well, if he was getting drugged anyway, he might as well make it a bit hard on them. " _Fuck you._ " He coughed out, hoping to make it look like it was completely deliberate.

"And here I thought you were starting to cooperate." The doctor sighed and Akechi was too focused on getting his breath back to normal to actually care about answering or noticing the punch from the guard before it connected with his face and that must have finally made him dizzy enough to blackout for a second because the next thing he knew he was barely standing and one of his wrists was handcuffed to the bar in the wall. So that's what that was for. _Great_. "You really have to try and make everything harder for yourself?" 

Akechi glared, tugging on the cuff mostly for show. He briefly thought he must look pretty disgusting - he had taken enough hits to know his eye was already swelling shut after that. He laughed.

"Well, considering that you have to keep me alive, _doctor-"_ he dragged out the title in a mocking tone. "-I don't think there's much you can actually do to me, is there? I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly in the mood to indulge your little sick power fan-" He was ready for the next punch and he didn't even try to dodge it, using the chance to connect his free hand to the guard's stomach - it probably wasn't as hard as he had hoped, losing focus at the last second as the man's fist connected with the side of his mouth, making his head snap to the side. He could feel blood pooling as the punch split his lip -and probably the inside of his mouth too, judging from the sheer amount he felt- and he let it fall out, holding back a pained moan. He wondered when would those fucking sedatives kick in - as much as he could take a hit, _or two, or more_ \- he _really_ didn't want to keep this up for long.

"You know I would just let you be if you behaved for once." The doctor said in a calm, mildly annoyed voice as if talking to a child.

"Should I break his fingers?" The guard asked and Akechi could barely keep himself from shuddering at the thought. The doctor seemed to think over it for a second then sighed. 

"I don't really wanna deal with splinting them after." He tapped his fingers against his hip. 

"What about his wrist?" The doctor nods with a satisfied hum and Akechi feels his heart stop as his free hand is grabbed, barely managing a breathless _'no'_ before the man sharply twists his wrist. 

This time he actually screams and he feels his knees give out for a moment before he is being held up and his now broken wrist is also roughly cuffed to the bar, which just made him hiss in pain.

" The sedatives should start to kick in a couple of minutes, though it may take a bit longer with all the adrenaline. They aren't meant to knock you out, as I said, but you may find standing difficult." Akechi took a sharp breath. _He wouldn't-_ "You're smart enough to realize how much it'll hurt if you fall with your wrist like that, right? That should be good enough motivation." _This was bad. He could already feel his limbs slowly numbing how the hell was he supposed to-_ The doctor pressed a button on his watch, starting a timer.   
_"Let's see how long you can actually manage."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me in public: (◡‿◡✿)  
> Me torturing fictional characters: (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿
> 
> Oh no! Things are -finally?- starting to get worse. 
> 
> A small pet peeve of mine in stories is when people put drugs in drinks food and the whumpee doesn't even notice, maybe a "this tastes weird" only. I have a gag reflex that won't go away (well, it short of did with practice if you know what I mean lmao) and it's so bad I had to take pills grounded up in powder until my late teens. Pills are not meant to be ingested like that lmao it tastes so horrible. Title for once isn't a song, it's referring to the fact that I basically chocked out the taste with spoonfuls of honey. Yes I am getting that desperate for title ideas, shhh. Some pills are bearable but most are unbelievably bitter and smell weird. I mean I am sure there are completely tasteless ones but since this is whump, why take the easy solution? This is fiction, so of course and I'm in no way saying that doing this trope is bad -I don't have any right to say that about anyone's writing haha- I'm just bored of seeing the same trope, so... Also, I don't know what sedatives taste like, but basing it off most medication I'm saying they're bitter. But who knows really. I hope I don't have to find out irl hahaha. 
> 
> Oh, also again, this story is, simply put, torture porn. I actually have a plot and some things planned -the ending was actually the first thing I wrote :3c - but because of the "loose" nature of the story, feel free to tell me if you have anything you want to see (or anything you don't so I can warn you ahead of time if I have anything close to that planned). I try to have warnings of the content at the beginning of each chapter, but I might miss something, so tell me! If you are one of those people who can't read whumpy stories if they don't know if there's going to be a "happy ending" or not eventually, also feel free to ask me about it, since it's already planned (though I doubt that based on the tags). This is a work of fiction and it's meant...to be enjoyable, I guess, though everyone has their own reasons for reading works with this kind of content hahaha. The actions here aren't condoned by the author irl and it's important to know what you're going to be dealing with when exploring darker concepts, so feel free to talk to me about it!
> 
> Sorry for the long notes and the delayed update! Thank you so much for reading! As always feel free to leave any comment! I appreciate it a lot! ( ᐛ )


	6. Counting Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been swamped with uni work...going to be probably moving and pretty much dropping out soon too...Sorry for the late update! Been slightly editing and uploading some older works (+a one-shot for pancake's birthday) as stress relief in the meantime, so feel free to check them out if you want! 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Akechi spends the start of this chapter being a drugged mess, medical procedures (one implied, one more graphic), general violence (punching, slapping, wall/floor slamming, chocking), passing out, concussions, handcuffs, broken bones?, mentions of Akechi's terrible childhood™ 
> 
> The title is because of the expression in english "seeing stars" when you're dizzy. It's so adorable what the hell!?
> 
> If you think anything else needs to be added, don't hesitate to let me know!

Akechi didn't even bother with replying, electing to just give them his worst glare and then concentrated on _calming the fuck down for once and try staying as lucid as possible._ Easier said than done, probably. 

So he tried to drown out the noise of his own heartbeat and the voices of the other two and put on his efforts into taking deep, slow breaths through his nose, that was _supposed to_ help with calming down. Hey, at least one fucking advantage of having such a shitty childhood, waking up constantly screaming from nightmares and having " _behavior issues"_ as the social workers discussed in hushed, appalled tones - _or screaming to his face, depending on how badly he fucked up-_ was that he was getting dragged to a state-appointed therapist quite often for a while - _until he learned how to suck it up and put on a front, he didn't need or want one more place where people looked at him with pity and treated him like a fucking psychopath_ \- and while it was horrible and he hated every single second of it, he had breathing exercises down to a T. 

* * *

Well, most of the time apparently or he wasn't as good as he thought _-at breathing? You really can't even do **that** fucking right?-._ It was getting harder to breathe. He felt like he wasn't getting enough oxygen to his lungs, but he knew that was bullshit so he forced himself to keep the slow, steady pace. Everything seemed to get slightly out of focus and he couldn't bring himself to concentrate on anything else other than _staying awake and staying standing up._ Even if his legs were numbing and just not letting them give out under him seemed to tire him more than it should.

* * *

He didn't even realize his head had slumped down at some point and he swallowed the drool that was steadily pooling in his mouth. He could hear voices, but they were too distant and he couldn't concentrate enough to make out what they were saying. Voices had never been nice to him anyway. And if they did it was always to get something out of him in exchange. So better off not actually hearing them.

He didn't bring himself to care enough to try to raise his head back up. He wasn't even sure he could if he tried anyway. 

* * *

He realized he was clutching the bar on the wall with one hand. 

_Why was he doing that?_ It was hard to do, his fingers felt so numb and -

Ah right.

_Stay standing._

_He had to stay standing._

_Don't fall. That was easy to focus on._

* * *

_Why did he have to stay standing?_

He felt his legs felt like jelly and he started to feel his knees tremble, dangerously close to giving out under him and he almost whimpered from the strain of pushing himself to stay standing. 

It wasn't supposed to be hard to _just fucking stand there_ , why, what was going on, _why was it so hard to just stand, why-?_

* * *

He blinked slowly, eyes completely unfocused. His bangs were sticking to his forehead and his muscles burned just from the strain to stay up.

_Why was he trying so hard to stay up again?_

The details seemed to slip through his confused, drugged state.

So he lets his legs give out, fall limp to the tile floor and-

_He screams._

He immediately tries to scramble up in some position that didn't let his hands be twisted and hung painfully above him, the throbbing pain of the broken bone and the stitches that had dulled with the sedatives coming back almost tenfold now, tries to sit up, get on his knees, but he can't get his limbs to work properly and _it hurt, it hurt, i **t hurt, it hurt so fucking much-**_

_Click_

He felt the pressure around his hands loosen and he instinctively brings the injured hand to his chest and bites his lips, tightly pressing his eyes shut. At that point it was only pure instinct, _run or_ _just stay still, take it and wait till it's over,_ that had been drilled into his head for years and years in his childhood, one that he had to fight against every time a shadow got close to destroying him. 

He couldn't run, but that didn't mean he didn't try - slowly scrambling away on the floor, since his legs didn't cooperate enough to let him get up - as he felt someone looming over him. He couldn't hear talking, but he couldn't concentrate on it enough to make out each word.

He gets slapped and that makes his mind un-cloud, slightly and open his eyes. 

" _...unresponsive other than to pain._ " he hears the doctor mumbling. _Doctor? Ah wasn't the palace a laboratory of some sort? So a shadow? It had a human face, but it didn't feel human. He chuckled, remembering Joker jumping on enemies' backs and shouting...what a show-off. What did he shout again?_ He reaches his hand out slightly.

" _...reveal your true form..._ " his words slurred a little. The doctor gripped his wrist, raising an eyebrow. 

"Or maybe not." the doctor seemed amused and that pisses him off for some reason. He snapped his fingers and Akechi turned to the sound instinctively. "Slow responses, though that's to be expected." Akechi frowned. 

" _Screw you_." he swallowed the drool that had pooled in his mouth. His chest felt tight and he closed his eyes again as he felt touching and poking, trying to move away, just trying to wiggle away leaving him almost breathless. 

"Difficulty breathing too - Hmm, maybe the dose was too high after all?" he felt a tug on his hair, pulling his head up and winced. "Or is it just panicking? Are you _scared_ Akechi?" Akechi opened his eyes again. 

"Dunno. Shut the- Shut up." the hand left his hair. 

"Well, let's monitor it just in case. Knock him out." 

Before Akechi can process it he feels a punch to his temple and his eyes roll back and everything fades to black.

* * *

He wakes up with a headache, his ears ringing. He groans and turns to his side, pressing his face against the cool metal he was laying against - 

_Metal?_

He snaps his eyes open, the events of the last hours - _??? probably-_ flooding to his brain and closing them immediately again with a small hiss. He was getting tired of waking up like this.

 _"_ Oh, you're awake." the doctor's voice is _too loud_ and Akechi concludes that he's most likely concussed and if he wasn't, he came too close to it for comfort. _Fucking great._ He isn't restrained at least, which is a small victory, compared to everything else. He doesn't react when he feels the doctor standing above him. _Play it up. Make him think you're not a threat. "_ How are you feeling?" the voice is mocking and Akechi rolls his eyes behind his eyelids. 

" _Dizzy."_ he just mutters instead. It wasn't even a lie actually. " _Hurts_." he adds after a second, clicking his tongue, trying to remember all the symptoms of a concussion. Probably not wise to overdo it though. The doctor hummed. 

"Sit up and open your eyes." Akechi groaned. " _Am I going to have to force you?_ " Akechi ignored him, sitting up and slowly blinking to adjust to the light. His vision _was_ a little blurry, but that was probably because his eyes were still adjusting. He raised his not-injured hand, noting there was an elastic bandage wrapped around the one that was sprained, and pressed his face in his palm. 

"The light hurts." he mumbled. _Light sensitivity_. His brain was still too drowsy to remember more symptoms, but three would do for now. " _How long was I -?_ " the doctor quickly pushes his arm away and shines a flashlight to his face, making him _almost_ yelp and jump back, nearly falling off the exam table. _Motherfucking piece of-_

 _"_ Alright. We're done here." The doctor looked over at someone on the other side of the room and Akechi mentally cursed. Fuck, he really must have brain damage to not look around the room as soon as he woke up.

"Get up." he hears the gruff voice of one of the guards, who he immediately decides to dub ' _asshole'_ as he just grabs him by the arm and shoves him up before he can react. Akechi stumbles, a bit overdramatically, letting more of his weight fall on him that he would normally and by the time he's somewhat regained his footing, he's already dragged him out the door and to the hallway. 

_He doesn't bother restraining him or even looking much at him as he drags him. Akechi tries to contain his smile._

He takes a deep breath and bites the hand holding him. The asshole grunts in pain, loosening the grip and Akechi twists around and _starts running._

The hallway has doors only on one side, the one he was dragged out of, as far as he can see, meaning trying any of the metal doors that blurred by as he run wouldn't lead him to an exit. His best bet was a window or stairs or fuck, at this point even a turn or an elevator. He also has no idea where he's going exactly, or what it would accomplish and every time his feet hit the floor he feels dizzier and dizzier, running out of breath quicker than he should. He hears shouting from behind and he pushes himself to run faster, almost tripping and falling down in the process. 

The asshole had caught up to him, grabbing him by the back of his shirt and pulling back before throwing him on the ground. Akechi barely has time to put out his arms to land on his elbows to break the fall, almost letting out a relieved sigh he didn't fail and land on his hands instead. There was no time to think - there was a kick to his back, almost making him lose balance, the asshole pinning him down. Panic was starting to rise to his chest again. _No, no, no-_

" _You little bastard-_ " The pressure eased as he leaned over to grab his arm, pulling it behind and putting a handcuff around his sprained wrist making him inhale sharply. _Fuck he knew exactly how to get out of it, but it was going to hurt-_

Akechi took the opportunity and twisted away, quickly turning and jumping on the asshole's back, grabbing tightly the other cuff and bringing the link straight across his neck, pulling down with all his weight, chocking him. The guard's eyes widened, falling on his back and pinning him under him, trying to shake him off, but Akechi wrapped his legs around him and tried _not to scream_ his injured hand flaring with pain and the other trembling with the pressure of pulling. His head wasn't any better, vision fuzzy and blurring at the edges. Still, he _couldn't_ let go. 

Eventually, he felt the guard going slack and he quickly slithered away, stumbling up and using the wall as support, panting, hands trembling. The asshole wasn't dead - _he hadn't heard his neck snap and he needed more than a minute to die from lack of oxygen-_ but he was passed out, buying him at least a few minutes to catch his breath. 

That was a luxury he couldn't exactly afford. There were probably more on the way and even if there weren't for now, he wasn't sticking around until there were or he woke up. He stumbled forward, still using the wall, going as fast as he could. The end of the hallway was near at least and he almost cried out in relief as he turned and saw an elevator. He quickly made his way over, looking at the floor panel over it. Alright. Windows were out of the question since apparently he was two floors underground. _Stairs should be safer and probably somewhere near too. Two flights of stairs shouldn't be that hard to run up either, even in his current-_ The elevator doors opened and two guards stepped out, looking pissed. 

_Shit._

Akechi turned to run away, but he was too slow. A hand pulled him by his hair, dragging him back before slamming his face on the corner.

* * *

 _He really was getting tired of waking up like this,_ was Akechi's first thought as he came to. So many head injuries in one day _couldn't_ be good. At least he thinks he hadn't been out for long, because his heart is still pounding and he's sweaty from running and fighting. There's something wet running down his face. His nose is bleeding he realizes and as vain as it was he just hopes it isn't broken.

He tries to raise his hands to wipe it off, but _he can't._

In a panic, he realizes he's strapped to the metal table, one of his arms stretched and tied in an awkward position, palm up, one restrain on his wrist and one just above his elbow. He sighs in relief when he realizes it isn't his sprained arm - which is thankfully only restrained to his elbow. The situation isn't really anything to feel relieved about but - small victories. He'll take it for now. 

He notices from the corner of his eye the doctor rummaging through something, metal instruments clinking onto a tray. Akechi takes deep breaths, trying to ease the panic swelling in his chest for the second time this day. This time it went even worse, every deep breath through his nose making it sting. 

_Yep. Definitely broken. Shit._

The doctor turned around, giving him a smug smirk, seeing he was awake. Akechi feels sick dread bubbling up his stomach _or at this point, it could be anything - he had started to lose track of where he was hurt exactly and his mind refused to cooperate long enough to make a list._

"Well, well, well...And just when I thought you were behaving again." 

_Screw you._ Akechi refused to even look at him, turning his head away. The doctor chuckled.

"What, don't have anything to say for yourself?" Akechi almost flinched as he heard metal clink again and footsteps approaching. "That's fine. I'm actually glad I finally have a reason to do this." he pulls his mask up and leaves the tray somewhere to the side. Akechi feels a hand press around the inside of his elbow. "Well, to be honest, this was bound to happen, sooner or later." Akechi hears more clinking and he gives in and turns towards him, curiosity overwhelming him more than his fear. He frowned. The doctor was holding a small piece of what looked like metal between two fingers. "This is a tracking chip." he simply explains, watching Akechi's eyes widen. 

" _No."_

"Just in case you think about running away." The doctor smiles behind his mask. "Normally, I would put you under since this will take a while. But well, this _is_ a punishment. A small one, really, considering you almost killed one of our employees." Akechi closes his eyes, feeling something cold swab on his skin sterilizing it. He tried to jerk his hand away but he felt the hand press harder into his skin. _"Stay still_ _or this is going to take even longer."_

Akechi does stay still, until he feels the cold metal of the scalpel splitting his skin. The grip around his arm tightens.

"I said hold _still." Motherfucker. "Or do you want this to hurt more than necessary?" Fuck you._

He takes a deep breath and bites his lips, trying his best not to flinch away again, still not looking, as he feels skin get pulled back and something starts _poking and moving_ inside. He can't help but shudder, feeling a trickle of blood running down. _Disgusting-_

Akechi would be relieved as the thing stop moving, but it still _hurts, everything hurts_ and the feeling of blood makes his skin crawl. Not to mention he said it would take a while. He wasn't stupid enough to think it would be over just yet. He can hear him walk away and then back towards him and he squeezed his eyes.

"Now, this wasn't so bad was it?" Akechi snaps his eyes open and hisses as he feels a needle against his upper arm. "Mild paralytic." The doctor explains and he can practically see him smirk behind the mask. He grabbed his palm. "I need to operate on your hand to connect some nerves with the chip and well...Let's just say there's _a lot of things that can go wrong and I don't expect you to stay still and compliant now."_

" _Die you piece of shit-"_ Oh. He said that out loud. The doctor hums, seemingly amused and Akechi starts thrashing while he still can. " _ **Fuck you.** Fuck you, fuck-" _

"Alright, that's enough. Don't make me gag you." 

" _I don't give a shit, couldn't you fuckers just had let me die, I don't want any of this, just-"_

The rest gets muffled by the gag that gets shoved in his mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The drugging probably took about 10 to 15 minutes to get completely effective, but I really don't know how to describe the passage of time from Akechi's POV. I used the line things (no idea how they're called lmao) to kinda indicate that hey, this is the last coherent thought, some time has passed and this is the next. Also you know, realistically, sedation, especially a high dosage isn't the best way to go about this -there can be a shit fuck ton of dangerous side effects, like the breathing thing, but you know, instant and having a huge chance of causing brain damage- but this is whump and we're doing it the most painful way lol. I don't know how to write slurred speech, so please imagine it absuhbdu. Also, the whole "tracking" thing is probably horribly unrealistic. I don't know how that stuff works so - persona advanced/science magic, because I don't think you can install a tracking device in someone like that, that has absolutely no effect in their motor skills, appearance etc, but it is something I feel I shouldn't research for my own sanity haha. Also I wanted it to be more complicated than a simple incision, so let's say it has some magic/science bullshit going on too. Or maybe it's placebo and the doctor is even more of an asshole. Both are great options hahaha.
> 
> Also, I don't know why but I really like giving Akechi head trauma lol. 
> 
> One escape attempt down, ? to go! Hang in there Akechi! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)
> 
> As always, sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and thank you very much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment! I really appreciate everyone reading this, even if well, it is as it is haha. ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅


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